Friday, September 26, 2008

Why I hate David Blaine?

With his latest failure to “shock” the world, David Blaine may be performing at children birthday parties as a magician. I can imagine the horror. He’d probably want to shove 500 cupcakes up his ass with the candles lit for no fucking reason. I only need to ask, WHY David Blaine, WHY!!!!

I don’t get him. What’s the difference between David Blaine and Amy Winehouse? He is supposed to be an Endurance artist which is an artistic expression through acts of physical pain, trauma, survival or deprivation. Roots can be found in religious asceticism which links physical torture to a way of spiritual transformation.[1]
Shit, I should consider myself an endurance artist. In college I once won a bet that I could drink 13 tequila shots and not die. I didn’t die but ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. My friends called me “pussy willow” for a year. I guess I failed my magic trick and they didn’t get to watch me die. Isn’t what the fascination of David Blaine about? We are just waiting for him to die. Every time I see Amy Winehouse, I astound by her crackhead endurance. It’s like every picture of her gets worse and worse. Nobody can understand why she is still alive considering her abuse of body and drugs. Yet people still buy her concert tickets just to see if she will pass out on stage or overdose. It’s sick. I don’t get it. But at least with Amy Winehouse, she has some talent. David Blaine is a con man.

It started with David Blaine burying himself alive. Then he put himself in a block of ice. And then he decided to stand on a thirty foot pole for 44 days. He stayed under water for like 17 hours and lastly he decided to hang upside down in central park for 60 hours. WHY David Blaine. WHY!!!!

What ever happened to the magician that cut women in half? What happened to pulling rabbits out of hats?

I don’t get today’s magicians, they are some freaky bastards. I hope David Blaine next trick is to disappear off the face of the planet, maybe land somewhere in the sun. I really hate that bastard.

1 comment:

Prince Todd said...

True Confession: I think David Blaine is so hot. Something about this bedroom eyes; tan skin; and the huge upper body that drives me bonkers...

Be that as it may I totally agree. I'll admit that I watch him to see if he will actually die on television. I don't actually want him to die...It is just morbid curiousity mostly.

I found nothing impressive about a 40 foot drop via wires. How about not wearing wires, David? Or how about catching a bullet, with your teeth, ala Bruce Leroy in The Last Dragon? Better yet stay under water for 17 hours with no oxygen tanks...Now that is endurance.

Yeah, I really agree. And ditto on Amy Winehouse.