To fuck or not to fuck

I am not a racist, just incredibly vain.

When Glenn Beck called Barack Obama a racist on FoxNews, it made me think:

I was like, can black people be racists? I thought racism was all about power. I knew Obama had a white mother and white grandparents. I have a white grandmother, but I don’t like her. She puts the itch in bitch, and I just want to gas her to death. I shouldn’t say that because she's a Jew. To be fair I don’t like my father’s mother also. I swear, I had the worse grandmothers growing up. One smoked and drank and accused everyone of trying to kill her; and the other tried to bleach me. I digress.

What makes a racist? I don’t even believe in race. I mean, if we are 99.9 percent alike, what makes a race. And what are the racist people running towards-- a different heaven or hell? Race, as if somebody wins or loses. I guess the black race was losing for centuries and the Mexicans were too lazy to compete. I digress.

And how many races are there? According to Wikipedia: In biology, a race is any inbreeding group, including taxonomic subgroups such as subspecies, taxonomically subordinate to a species and superordinate to a subrace and marked by a pre-determined profile of latent factors of hereditary traits. Try to decipher that sentence.

The argument if race is based on hereditary traits, so when blacks, whites, Latins, Asians, all mix, is that a new race. I mean when dogs or cats bred across the lines, they are usually given a different name. So if my grandmother is white and the other is Creole, and my father was ghetto and my mother a crack whore, what race am I? I guess we called that black; but why is that some blacks are going around saying they are mixed? I digress.

We are all mixed. On job applications I check all the boxes. I am a firm believer of getting rid of affirmative action. I say, white people should be as talented at picking cotton like blacks. Makes you look at Hanes different.


I admit, reality television has triggered my racism. If I watch American Idol, Top Model, So you think you can dance?, automatically I want the black person to win. I don’t care if he or she is talented; I just want the black person to win.
Yet, I am also gay. Is gay a race? If a gay person is on American Idol, I want the gay person to win over the black person. I am also good looking. So if a good looking person is on “So you think you can dance,” I want the good looking person to win. I am also physically fit. If a physically fit person is on StarSearch, I want that person to win.

Therefore, I don’t really consider myself a racist. I think I’m just incredibly vain. I like anything that’s the closest to me. I only want six degrees of separation. Will Smith was so hot in that movie. Of course I don’t like Glenn Beck because he is not black, and he is fat, and he is not good looking and thank god not gay.

I think that term racism gets thrown around too much that it’s lost its value. You can't even call niggas, niggerws anymore. It’s really just about sex. If you don’t want to fuck it, you want it to fuck off.

Nigga fullmoons

Howard University had its homecoming party this weekend. I always felt sorta cheated of my black college experience because I went to UT, so white I forgot some days I was black. I used to frighten my cock out every time I passed a mirror. I would be like, who is that black guy. And then I remember.

I’ve gone to few historically black colleges homecomings. I went to Grambling homecoming party. I was so damn high I hardly remember it. I went to TSU homecoming party. I remember it feeling like a fire hazard waiting to happen.

Let’s take a moment before mofos start thinking I am being pretention so that I can preface my “sound bite” with the fact I went to an all ghetto black high school. At my school we didn’t just have fire drills but gang drive-by drills. I remember every party I attended rather it be a sweet sixteen or prom dance usually ended with a gang fight and a couple of guns firing. I had a rule growing up, if I attended somebody’s party, I was usually was out of there by 1:30 am and no later because that’s when the cheap liquor kicked in and niggas started acting like niggas.
Always 1:31 am without fail. It was something magic about that time. It was like the clock striking midnight or something.

Anyways, I woke up this morning to find a video on “Media Takeout.” From a party I attended this past weekend HU homecoming. It was with the rapper Fabulous. Because I don’t personally like the guy, and felt completely old all weekend because some girl ask me if I was somebody parent, and I was like bitch I am thirty three years old. It wasn’t cute. So anyways, I woke up this morning to find that a fight broke out after Fabulous performance. I was shocked (image of me clinching my pearls)
As I watched the video, I couldn’t help but think; some people shouldn’t drink and be in big crowds. I started thinking some people just fuck it up for everybody. I started thinking some people shouldn’t be invited. And then I thought, that person is usually me.

At exactly 1:31 a.m. I become an asshole without fail. I think it’s usually the liquor and I don’t like being around a lot of people when I’m intoxicated. I wouldn’t say I am mean drunk, just annoying, and I forget about boundaries and usually say something to somebody who eventually hits me.
Sometimes I wake up the next day with mysteries bruises, a weave between my fingernails and I think to myself, what the hell happened last night. “Did I turn into a nigga again?”

And how do niggas become niggas. Was I bitten by a nigga back in high school? During the day I am mild mannered. I wear glasses and processed numbers. But with liquor and if it turn 1:31 a.m. I should be at home. Don’t invite me to parties that last longer than 1 a.m.

I am pretty sure I didn’t throw that bottle at Fabulous in the video. Yet, why did I have broken bottle glass in my socks.

New permanent header

I have finally decided on my official header. Yet, it may change again because i do like to drink and blog, which i don't recommend. I also like to tweet and blog, which i sometimes i forget i do have a tweeter account that i haven't checked in like a month.

It's bad enough i decided to cuss out everybody on facebook and delete them. lol. on well. As little interaction i have with people, the better.

for that one comment i got about my last pic giving fever, i will now put that in my profile pic. I do plan to post more. I'm finished with my book, THANK GOD!!!!!, so now it's just in revisions. Well I'm finished with the professional book, I do have another book, all comedy from columns i wrote like three years ago, but have decided update them. That will be out in May of 2010. Anyways, kudos to my new logo. I spent like a hour on it. lol.