Interview questions and lies

I remember when interviews were about finding the best candidate, now it seems it’s about eliminating the weakest link. Any mistake in the 2010 recession is an automatic dismissal. It seems very confrontational now. I was reading something sent to me via Spam mail about the 7 worse things an interviewer can do in an interview. I thought it was mostly bullshit and needed to respond.


1. Smells: Too Much of a Good Smell Can Be Bad
Pat Riley, author of Secrets of Breaking into Pharmaceutical Sales, has a pet peeve story to relate: "Preparing for an interview is not like preparing for a date. I had one interview with a woman who doused herself with perfume (the same perfume my ex-girlfriend used to wear) right before stepping into the small interview booth. The perfume was overpowering and brought back bad memories."

The truth: any smell of his ex-girlfriend might have turned the bastard off. Maybe that’s why she dumped his trifling ass. I mean, what pervert goes around smelling women in an interview. I don’t like ppl who bath in their ailment, but smelling fresh is a good thing. And interviews are like dates. It’s an audition. You want to get that person in bed for the next year. So that advice was clearly bullshit.



2. Communication: Too Little Leaves Interviewers Exasperated
"My No. 1 interviewing pet peeve is an applicant who won't talk,” says Steve Jones, a manager of client services at a software company in Dallas. “I try to ask open-ended questions and prod them for longer answers, but no luck. I've even mentioned to a few that I need more information so I can get an idea of where they're coming from -- still no luck. I always end the interview saying, ‘Now it's your turn to ask questions,' and still no luck. They don't have any. Oh well -- next!"”
Jones advises job seekers to come prepared to answer questions and talk about you.

That is such bullshit. What they want is for you to kiss their ass. They want for you to play up a minority status in most cases. If you are a woman, a sentence less than three is talking to less cuz women like to talk. If you were black, direct answers seem militant. If you were Latino, they want to not really understand you but like your go-getter attitude.


3. Communication: Too Much Can Be Too Much
"Candidates who ramble are the ones who get to me," says Dotti Bousquet of Resource Group Staffing in West Hartford, Connecticut. “I was interviewing a candidate and asked her one question. The candidate talked and talked and talked for 45 minutes straight. I was unable to stop her. I had to say, ‘Let's wrap this up,' and I stood up while she continued to talk. I walked to the door of the office and opened it. She left, but continued to talk while walking out the door."

The lesson? “Candidates should stay focused, and answer the question asked -- in less than two to three minutes," advises Bousquet.

Funny, go back to question 2, and see how this article could confuse any monkey. In interviews, scripted answers are seen as cold or too rehearsed. It’s such a contradiction. There is no good way or wrong way to answer a question. The person either likes you or not. Too much power and personal bullshit is given to interviewers.


4. Lack of Focus: Results in Losing the Interviewer
"Typically, candidates are simply too intimidated by the process," says Mark Fulop, project director for a large nonprofit agency. "Relating the answer given to one question back with another -- and asking clarifying or follow-up questions -- shows me that the candidate is confident and thinking about the whole picture instead of enduring an interrogation.

Some interviewers are just fucking boring. I mean, it’s like talking to an ant stuck on the wall and doesn’t know it’s about to die. You want to keep it alive, but you think to yourself, what’s the point. It turns to desperation when you realize the interviewer doesn’t like you. It’s evident in the first handshake and eye roll. You can't be their baby daddy.


5. Averting Your Eyes: One Way to Avert an Offer
Incorrect nonverbal communication is a turnoff for many interviewers. People who do not make any eye contact during the entire interview irritate Gwen Sobiech, an agency recruiter in West Hartford, Connecticut. “I realize some people are shy, but to never look at me once -- they look down, around, everywhere -- but not at me for the entire interview," she says. "I find that extremely annoying. I also tend to distrust someone who will not look at me when I've asked a question."
If you are uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes, look at his third eye, just above and between the person's two eyes.

I admit, I hate looking at people. I hate looking at them cuz I’m taking them apart. I can’t focus. I am focusing on that crusted snot in their nose. Or that crust at the corner of their mouths.


6. Slang and Street Speak: Leave Them on the Street. "Poor communications skills really get to me," says Robert Fodge of Power Brokers in Dover, Delaware. "What I mean by this is not merely their language fluency, but more about the use of language. Slang words and street speak just don't have a place in most business environments. Also, candidates who say 'um,' 'like' and 'uh' between every other word lose my attention very quickly."

That just means, don’t act black. Don’t act black. Don’t act black. Don’t act black.


7. Deception: Little Lies Leave a Big Impression
One major complaint among recruiters is when a candidate is not completely truthful; small lies are all too common in the world of recruitment. This includes not being completely forthcoming with relevant information, embellishing accomplishments, hiding jobs or leading the process on with no intention of ever following through. Building trust during the interview is key to getting an offer.

I say, know your lies and know them well. Your interview should be about a short story of the lies you are about to tell. You must know that character like accepting an Oscar.