Dear Star Jones:
I understand that this is a hard time for you at the moment. I mean with all the weight lost, getting fired from the View, your television show ending on Court TV and now divorce. Life can get shitty real fast, trust me I know. I do mean to add to your problems or just cause another distraction with my issues of your divorce. I think it was misrepresenting for you to hustle the television watchers with your wedding. You made it seemed like it was the event of 2004. You talked about getting married on the view for years and it when it finally happened you vomited everywhere about it. And then you solicited for gifts. You set up a gift registry for your small fans to send you things that the big celebrities wouldn’t waste their time. Now three years later and you’re getting a divorce, I’ll like my punch bowl back. I’m not for sure if you even used it. I feel cheated. This letter is the first of many to collect a debt from Star Jones.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Why I could never become a crackhead
I smoked crack a couple of times back in the day. I was with a friend and we started out just drinking vodka and then we upgraded to weed but it was only half of a joint. He mentioned he had some crack like it was gum. He deviouslyt smiled and asked if I was down. I was already going to hell or rehab. I was thrown-back and not wanting to look un-cool shook my head to agree I wouldn’t mind. He lit up the pipe, it was a small tube with the end blocked off burnt black. I tried to pretend to know what I was doing and of course I lit of the wrong end and all the crack fell out on the floor. My friend didn’t get angry, he just picked up the broken pieces and proceeded to teach me how to do it the right way. Hitting the crackpipe wasn’t as hopeless as I was lead to believe by the television. I thought after one inhale I was going to be on the streets begging to suck dick for a dollar. Yet, I didn’t feel anything. I kept doing most of the night but nothing. I mean, I would feel a euphoric sensation for about five seconds and then it go away and I’d have to hit the pipe again. It was annoying.
A couple of months later I tried crack again but this time it was with a different person. He was more of a stranger. I didn’t like his attitude. He seemed paranoid and kept accusing me of stealing his crack. I decided to leave his apartment. Crack wasn’t that serious for me. A few more times I tried crack, one time this guy came to my apartment. He said he had the good stuff. When he got to my house we lit up the crackpipe. It was better crack than I had previously experimented with. But the guy was crazy. Every time he hit the pipe he would start stomping around my apartment like he was in the Broadway play “stomp.” He made so much noise I had to put him out. He left the crack. I flushed it down the toilet. I’m lying, I smoked it.
I learned with drugs that it isn’t always the drug but the people who come with the drugs. When smoking drugs I don’t just get the high but I got to also deal with the users. I found crack heads are the most annoying drug addicts. They are always paranoid and irritable. I can’t see how anyone can enjoy crack when they constantly looking out the window, dancing around the house and looking for more crack.
I finally decided to give up hardcore drugs because the lifestyle was unromantic. I just wanted to get high, I didn’t need the soap opera. I only smoke weed now. I never heard anyone getting shot over weed.
A couple of months later I tried crack again but this time it was with a different person. He was more of a stranger. I didn’t like his attitude. He seemed paranoid and kept accusing me of stealing his crack. I decided to leave his apartment. Crack wasn’t that serious for me. A few more times I tried crack, one time this guy came to my apartment. He said he had the good stuff. When he got to my house we lit up the crackpipe. It was better crack than I had previously experimented with. But the guy was crazy. Every time he hit the pipe he would start stomping around my apartment like he was in the Broadway play “stomp.” He made so much noise I had to put him out. He left the crack. I flushed it down the toilet. I’m lying, I smoked it.
I learned with drugs that it isn’t always the drug but the people who come with the drugs. When smoking drugs I don’t just get the high but I got to also deal with the users. I found crack heads are the most annoying drug addicts. They are always paranoid and irritable. I can’t see how anyone can enjoy crack when they constantly looking out the window, dancing around the house and looking for more crack.
I finally decided to give up hardcore drugs because the lifestyle was unromantic. I just wanted to get high, I didn’t need the soap opera. I only smoke weed now. I never heard anyone getting shot over weed.
Half on a baby
Daylight Saving Time
Twice a year it seems we all bitch about it. What’s the point? I mean, really, where I sign up to have it stopped. It has no real purpose in the modern world so why don’t we just get rid of it? Who do we talk to?
I mean its election time, so should that be on the ballot somewhere. Do I write my congressman? Do I send a letter to the newspaper? I mean somebody has to get off their ass and stop the insanity. I mean why are we as a nation setting out clocks back and forth like fucking retards every year.
I decided to boycott. I wasn’t going to re-set my clocks. I was just going to go on with my life. Well I realized I really didn’t get much choice. All my clocks in the house reset themselves, even the clock on the stove. My fancy alarm clock even reset itself. The only clock that stayed the same was the VCR clock. I decided to leave it alone. Viva la revolution.
Twice a year it seems we all bitch about it. What’s the point? I mean, really, where I sign up to have it stopped. It has no real purpose in the modern world so why don’t we just get rid of it? Who do we talk to?
I mean its election time, so should that be on the ballot somewhere. Do I write my congressman? Do I send a letter to the newspaper? I mean somebody has to get off their ass and stop the insanity. I mean why are we as a nation setting out clocks back and forth like fucking retards every year.
I decided to boycott. I wasn’t going to re-set my clocks. I was just going to go on with my life. Well I realized I really didn’t get much choice. All my clocks in the house reset themselves, even the clock on the stove. My fancy alarm clock even reset itself. The only clock that stayed the same was the VCR clock. I decided to leave it alone. Viva la revolution.
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